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Pretty Pity Is Done Performing What You Think a Rock Band Should Be
- Brooke Dougherty
- Aug 10
- 8 min read
The Tampa alternative pop-rock band, Pretty Pity, on leaving Stoned Mary behind, learning to be okay with looking cringe, and why their most vulnerable music is still ahead.
Contributed by Brooke Dougherty
Interviewed by LJ Portnoy & Brooke Dougherty
After wrapping up the first leg of their summer tour, Pretty Pity is heating up.
The five-piece Tampa alternative pop-rock band is back in the studio, writing before heading out again on tour in mid August.
But the version of Pretty Pity we see today did not happen overnight. Vocalist Tani Jade and bassist Alex Gonzalez sat down for an Underground Radar feature to share with us the band’s evolution.
The stage banter test
Before Pretty Pity, there was Stoned Mary.
The band spent years growing that project, but as their songwriting evolved, the name no longer reflected the more pop-centered music they were making.
“We started playing with more hooky stuff and Pretty Pity felt like the epitome of this type of stuff where you write really pretty melodies, guitars, and sad lyrics,” Tani said.
Practical issues pushed the decision along too. Some media platforms kept flagging due to the front of their previous band's name, making it difficult to reach new listeners.
"It was frustrating because on social medias, the word 'stoned' was just shadow banned instantly," vocalist Tani said. "Even though we're referring to…the past tense of stoning someone."
The members knew the band had to become something else, but the transition took about a year and a half. Many names were thrown on the table. The band even considered "So Sweet," borrowing a lyric from their 2023 song "Sweet Tooth." But it just felt too generic.
Eventually, they landed on Pretty Pity, named after one of their old songs. It became the perfect name to encapsulate their new, elevated, more radio-friendly identity.
"We kind of went back and forth with, like, what feels right to say on stage?" Tani said. "'We are Pretty Pity.' It was like, okay, that feels right."
It passed what the band jokingly calls the "stage banter test."
Once the name stuck, Tani arrived with a vision board.
"We have the pretty. We have the pity," she said. "Some of the aesthetics are gonna be really cutesy. And then we're gonna have this dark undertone to everything."
Tani and Alex laugh as they remember how seriously Tani pitched the concept, comparing her to Charlie Day frantically connecting strings across a conspiracy board in It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
“The pretty pity theory,” the band joked.
The bottom line of the vision, however, was that Pretty Pity wasn’t going to feel like “a 2.0.”
Their first release under the new name, "Whiskey," became the meticulous blueprint for a band determined to present something that felt like an evolution rather than a simple rebrand.
More than a year later since the initial rebrand, Pretty Pity’s polished image has become even more relaxed, stripped-back, and personal, leaning into the Y2K influences and early 2000s aesthetics the band grew up with.
Pretty Pity is driving the bus
What started out as a creative outlet slowly grew into something bigger. It wasn’t until the arrival of bassist Alex that the rest of the band started really taking the project more seriously.
Like any young band, they had to learn how to blend. The pandemic made that even harder. Songwriting often happened from separate locations, music videos were filmed apart before being stitched together, and everyone was still figuring out how to be honest without stepping on each other's toes.
"I think [at the beginning] there's a lot more hesitancy...to be honest with whether or not you like something versus just wanting to make it work," Tani said. "Now we're able to say, 'I don't really like that,' and nobody takes it personally."
From the very beginning, Pretty Pity stood out in Tampa's local music scene. While many bands around them leaned heavily into metalcore, Pretty Pity was the only non-metal, female-fronted act on the bill.
“It was so metalcore heavy and we always had a bit more pop to us, even when we were pop punk sounding. It just kind of differentiated us,” Tani said.
Those early experiences shaped the band's beginnings just as much as the music itself.
Over time, Pretty Pity has found its groove. Despite sharing a love for artists like Fleetwood Mac, Oasis, and The Wonder Years, their influences branch off in completely different directions. Instead of trying to make everyone fit into the same box, Pretty Pity has learned to embrace those differences.
Each member brings something different into the room and nobody is interested in winning the argument. The songs often begin with a chord progression or demo before Tani searches for a melody. From there, ideas bounce between all five musicians until everyone feels like they’ve created a story with words, finding the strongest version.
"At the end of the day, [we] want the song to be the best it can be," Alex said. “We're all working toward the common goal to make sure that the song is the best.”
That level of collaboration didn't happen overnight. It's something the band earned after years of learning how to challenge one another without taking criticism personally.
When guitarist and producer David first played the demo for "Fast Love," Tani immediately pictured how it would feel onstage.
"When it had that little synth on it, I immediately saw the dance that I wanted to do with it," Tani said. "I was like, if I can see how it's going to look on stage, this is a fucking banger."
That same chemistry shows up offstage, too. During our interview, Alex and Tani couldn't help but recreate the little shimmy they do toward each other during live shows. It was a small moment, but one that perfectly captured the playful dynamic that's become part of Pretty Pity's live performances.
However you want to define Pretty Pity, one thing is clear: nothing can stop their momentum.
The band's 2025 debut EP, Done Waiting, reflects that mindset. Its title was less about impatience and more about deciding to stop waiting for permission.
Instead of hoping a label, manager, or marketing team would pave the way, Pretty Pity has taken matters into their own hands.
"We ourselves are driving the bus," Alex said.
Between touring, rebranding, and releasing a steady stream of singles, every step has reinforced the same lesson they've learned since those early Tampa shows: Pretty Pity plays by their own rules.
Re-defining what it means to be a frontwoman
In the midst of Pretty Pity’s evolution, Tani has been finding her footing as a lead singer and performer; fighting against the fear of being seen as inauthentic.
After spending many years playing bass and singing harmonies, Stoned Mary marked the first time Tani stepped fully into the role of frontwoman. Without an instrument to stand behind, she initially relied on what she thought a rock singer was supposed to be.
"There was a lot of jumping around, a lot of kicking," Tani said. "I was trying to be what I think a rock singer should look like."
Those ideas came from growing up on 90s skate punk, bands like Letters to Cleo, and Josie and the Pussycats. They were also shaped by an era where women in rock were constantly accused of being "posers."
"I hate that I was so guided by that and afraid of that because it's dumb," Tani said.
Eventually, she stopped trying to imitate anyone else. These days, she dances the same way she would alone in her bedroom.
"It can be Britney Spears. It can be Metallica," Tani said. "I'm sorry, I'm going to shake my butt."
“And it's not to say that I don't [headbang, jump around, and kick] anymore, but now I shake my butt,” Tani said. “And that’s like my favorite thing to do on stage.”
As Tani grew more comfortable taking up space and being in the moment, audiences responded to that confidence.
“I think my theater background [helped.] Taking improv classes and physical comedy stuff. Being okay with looking cringe,” Tani said.
Rather than performing her idea of what a frontwoman should be, Tani is finally enjoying bringing the most authentic parts of herself to the stage and the music.
"The goal is to get to that feeling of, ‘I'm just here,’" Tani said. "You're going to take that for what it is. You're either going to enjoy it or you're not."
That confidence has carried into Pretty Pity's songwriting as well.
The freedom to experiment
Pretty Pity’s artistic freedom as an indie act extends into the writing room. Free from the shackles of fitting into one genre or aesthetic, the music has started to take on a life of its own.
This year alone, the band’s newest singles have bounced between the experimental darker pop textures of "Started With You," the guitar-driven, pop energy of "Fast Love," and the genre-blurring "IDK."
"I actually think 'IDK' is like a bread-and-butter Pretty Pity song," Alex said. "If I could show anybody a regular example of what we sound like most of the time, it's this style song."
One of the song's defining lyrical ideas happened almost by accident.
"I don't know. I don't know what you're talking about," Tani recalled saying while experimenting with melodies before realizing she had accidentally stumbled into the chorus.
"Sounds just kind of...come out," she laughed. "It's like stimming until I like it."
It seems that this instinctive approach is fairly typical for Pretty Pity.
But perhaps the biggest evolution isn’t just how the music sounds. It’s in what the music has to say.
The band has largely moved beyond writing about old external relationships, choosing instead to examine their own fears, insecurities, and internal struggles.
“The more we all relate to it interpersonally, like the five of us, the more I think everybody else relates to it. I think the goal for us is to be more honest,” Tani said.
Writing older songs like "Wasted," which recounts her experience with sexual abuse, showed Tani the power of telling her own story.
Now, Pretty Pity continues to ask the hard questions. "'How am I internally? Do I need help? Can I admit that?'" Those questions have become the heart of Pretty Pity's newest material.
“The lyrical content for the new stuff is some of the best work we’ve done,” Alex said about Pretty Pity’s growth as a band.
And when it comes to brutal honesty and vulnerability in her lyrics, there’s not a line Tani isn’t willing to cross if it means she can heal by talking about it and someone listening realizes they aren’t alone.
The Pity Party hits the road
With the highs of touring also come the lows. For Tani, the band’s worst tour stop so far was Seattle’s El Corazon.
“The bathrooms are half stalls,” Tani said. “You go sit down. I’m right here. And I can make eye contact with the person that’s peeing right next to me.”
“It’s rock and roll, though, right?” we asked.
“It is,” Tani said. “Definitely a rite of passage.”
For Alex, one of the best nights happened at The Broadway in Brooklyn. The band sold more than 100 tickets for the upstairs room, packed the floor, and watched the entire thing begin to flex as the crowd jumped.
“I just remember feeling the whole entire floor,” he said. “I’m like, please, someone start recording. If this thing goes down, I want to see it.”
As Pretty Pity’s momentum grows, so does their fanbase. One fan, in particular, approached Tani after a show, offering a disclaimer.
But despite these anecdotal moments on tour, the core truth remains: the members of Pretty Pity just like hanging out and messing around with each other.
Unless, of course, someone doesn’t follow the van rules and say “Arby’s” three times before passing gas. The repetition is especially important, Tani tells us. A single mention could reasonably refer to the restaurant. Three means everyone has been warned.
The official procedure is as follows: “Arby’s, Arby’s, Arby’s.” Then crack a window.
What’s next for Pretty Pity
What began as a carefully planned vision board has now taken on life on its own.
Pretty Pity heads back on the road this August, but not before squeezing in as much studio time as possible preparing for new music that is coming soon.
The band is staying quiet about exactly what's coming next. What they will say is that the songs feel more collaborative, more personal, and more representative of who they are than anything they've written before.
Amazing! I love the style, the lyrics, the music and Tani’s vocals!!