Loving something for twenty years gives you perspective you can’t rush. When fandom spans decades, it stops being about moments and becomes about seasons. There are years when music is everything. Years where it’s background noise. Years where it disappears entirely, only to return when you least expect it. That kind of longevity teaches you something important early on: intensity and depth are not the same thing. That distinction is the hot take.

If you’ve ever been a fangirl or fanboy, you know this feeling all too well. Somehow, seeing your favorite band or musician has become a competition. People are fighting at the barricade, on the internet, and what was once an uplifting community and a safe space has turned into a place where adults in their 30s and 40s bully each other until someone is crying to the algorithm for help. And alas, the cycle continues. But when does it end?